S1 E10: How to use the Dirty Dozen Method to heal from toxic thoughts and emotions!

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hi I’m dr. Caroline leaf and welcome to my show the dr. leaf show if you haven’t yet subscribed just press the little subscribe button and you’ll be notified when new episodes come out and you’ll be kept up to date on all things relating to the mind and mental health in this episode today we’re going to talk about the Dirty Dozen and what do I mean by the Dirty Dozen okay these are areas or ways of categorizing what you’re going through to make them tangible and accessible so let me give you an example first from a from a clinical practice I’ve worked for 25 word for 25 years in clinical practice and I’ve done research on the mind brain connection I’ve been studying the unconscious mind and how you are powerful as a human and you are able to change your brain and change your life and create your realities I use neuroscience and quantum physics and and various different Sciences to explain my theories and research are lots of books that help how you can do these kind of things I’ve taken complex science and made it very practical so that you can get your mind under control because I can tell you you know I don’t I can tell you what you already know and that’s that if your mind is crazy so are you and we’re all a little bit crazy and that’s the nice thing to know is that we all have our issues if you all have to deal with our issues but there’s really ways that we can deal with our issues if we actually realize how much control we have and as a mind specialist I really desire for you to understand the power of your mind so I’ll give you a little examples to help you in these in these shows and to watch them done you’re gonna really learn from these and learn so much stuff and the materials will really help you okay so to come back to this today’s episode about the Dirty Dozen I had a patient that came to me the one time he was really battling with concentration and focus and various different inner learning issues and initially that was what I thought was the problem because that was what the referral was and I was in my mind work I’ve done a lot of work with learning disability and would teach people how to think and how to learn and build memory it’s been a big part of my research and a big part of the work that I did anyway in working with this young man I very soon became evident that there was a lot more going on than just a learning issue so initially I also thought well it’s probably related to you know maybe been teased about nothing as good academically as what he could have or whatever but that you know those kind of emotions but that wasn’t really the case this this young man was going through a lot more there was a lot more torment going on inside from a various different situations that had occurred in this young man’s life that he could not talk about and it was related to that it for himself he was not able to process it was it happened when he was quite young and the environment that he grew up in was was very challenging it was very fundamentalist in terms of certain beliefs religiously and so on and it was very very very hard for this young man to be able to truly express his true identity and to really be himself and this word had created a complete disconnect between what he believed in what he knew he should supposedly should be believing and functioning in how he really felt about functioning and he made some bad decisions and got himself caught up in various situations and ended up getting experiencing a lot of toxic touch now then before I carry on in this book called usage of my brain toxic thoughts and emotions I had a whole section on the Dirty Dozen and the Dirty Dozen are twelve areas or twelve areas that you can categorize trauma and toxic thinking and issues into one of the big things about dealing with stuff and I know this from my own experience and experience working with my patients and from the research is that we are humans as humans we lack order we like to make sense of things so the Dirty Dozen is a way it’s a way of organizing information organizing the issues that you’ve experienced into some kind of meaningful category when things are in categories we can then make better associations we can group things we can it becomes manageable become something we can control as soon as we see it feel like things are out of control that’s when we fall apart let’s really feel like there’s no hope but control brings hope back so the Dirty Dozen is a way of grouping organizing and categorizing what you’ve gone through into twelve simple categories either just one or two generally there’s more than one case we involved you cross over to a certain extent but you have like a main category and you do that yourself I mean it’s as simple as taking a piece of paper and you can do this right now and writing down your issues and saying okay what is this predominantly dealing with what are we predominately dealing with yeah this is what I did with this young man I said okay there’s a lot more going on here and I believe that the root of your learning issues are basically part of the emotions that you’re currently going through there’s something that’s going on and we need to address that root and then I think you’re learning issues will resolve themselves and obviously a good learning technique which is also what I teach is going to be valuable for you because building your brain is part of your healing too so we had a dual-purpose going on there so I made him write down and this is the technique that social support is made gave him a big piece of paper and I made him write down on that big piece of paper and just what his major issue was that he felt in his life and it didn’t come out the first session it didn’t come out the first month he started a process that started a process of journalizing journaling the different emotions and eventually getting to the court took about it honestly did take about the first three weeks that I was working with this young man before we started getting some idea of where the court issue was and the first as this jumble of words sort of makes sense at first started coming out on this page and a little bit every day but by Ron about sort of the end of the third week we sat together and sort of trying to make sense of it so the first thing I did was take the dirty dozen he said all right let’s categorize these what do we see it’s put a checkmark next to each of these different things and let’s see is that one they weren’t related to touch that one’s related to toxic love that one’s related to toxic touch again that one’s related to toxic face that one’s related to toxic touch again and so we went through we took the twelve areas I explained what the twelve areas were to him and I said okay let’s try and categorize this chaos into some kind of order and what we found that was the majority of the little ticks were toxic touch so that seemed to be the main category and then the story came up the story would happen to that young man and I’m not at liberty to share that with you but it was a very traumatic situation a series of traumatic situations that happened as a result of the lab of being able to be who that young man really was and that then affected his schoolwork which resulted in the learning problems and so once we address the call by categorizing he felt like he had control that’s where it was toxic touch from that situation from the lack of identity now we can address that so now we could use another technique that I call the multiple perspective advantage which is incredibly powerful the ability we have as humans to literally stand outside of ourselves and observer and thinking we can do that okay I explained that in this book I explained the Dirty Dozen in this book and I explained the techniques of how to do everything I’m saying in these two books okay so using the multiple perspective advantage we could stand back and analyze now one of the things that is very important when you work with a dirty dozen and work with dealing with stuff like this is that it’s very draining emotionally and you can feel like oh my gosh I can’t do this so it’s very important to do a little bit at a time don’t spend hours at a time doing this I recommend you don’t spend more than 16 minutes at a time and it sounds like such a weird number but that’s from scientific research 7 to 16 minutes a day don’t spend hours there’s gonna get yourself caught up in a cycle of toxicity it’s limit your time number one and then number two be very objective use your multiple perspective advantage stand back and observe your own thinking take that stuff and I told this young man take all the stuff which is painful it’s very sore it’s a lot and these all kinds of associations branches growing on these trees that are starting to come back take it and put it into a room and into a sealed room in a building with windows put it in there and stand outside so that you’re safe you’re not in it you’re observing it very important so you objectify the situation you stand back and you look at the situation that’s happened to you so it’s not you inside the window inside the emotions which will just kind of keep you stuck and it gets too painful and you will leave it all alone and suppress it and carry on with whatever toxic behavior you’ve developed to your try and deal with that to try and hide it you’re not going to do that you’re actually gonna stand back observe your own thinking get into this toxic stand back and observe this toxic situation and say that’s not who I am very important it’s who I have become so if you become that you can unbecoming because there’s a beautiful principle called neuroplasticity that I’ve been researching for 30 years and neuroplasticity is the fact that your brain can change as a result of how you think so when you think you can change your brain your brains where you store your memories so and their memories are the roots of what you say and what you do so you can’t just be can do whatever you’re saying and doing is coming from a root and that root all the memories that you’ve brought into your brain so you can change your brain so you can stand back you can observe your own thinking and you can realize that’s not who I am that you have become I’m not in it you’re objectifying it you’re outside of it and you can actually look at that stuff with me and you can say okay this is a really ugly painful room you may not even be able to stand close to it and then you can start working on redesigning it you can actually work on facing each issue as you have the time as you have the courage you don’t have to stick us you don’t have to expose yourself to all of that at once as you have time I mean as you feel ready you can do that and in the categorization becomes very helpful because then what happened with this young man is over a period of time we work through the Swiss are getting more categories very important part of this I got the family involved there is nothing like family therapy if your family is not dysfunctional obviously dysfunctional families it can be pretty difficult but there’s always someone it’s willing to help you so either your family a friend a loved one and if you can’t find anyone go to your local church community your local find someone that you feel safer that you can start working through these issues with that you feel the courage because when research also shows that when you are in a loving non-judgmental environment when someone’s there just listening to you just hearing your story and maybe it already tell them everything but just the mere fact that you can talk about something they better change your brain chemistry it’ll change how your neurotransmitters flow you’ll have more than your transmitters flowing that will make you physically feel able to deal with the situation your resilience increases you have a certain type of genetic a special kind of genetics which deep down inside you’re part of your brain called the hippocampus that deals with memory and those was converting short to long-term memory and when when you in a loving environment that activates and it increases your resilience and your ability to cope with the situation so I’ve seen a lot of different tips I’ve given you a lot of different tips here at the core of every behavior is a route to get to that route you’re gonna have to try and get some sort of order and chaos out of chaos it feels chaotic when we in the toxic zone the dirty dozen that I teach over here is a way of taking that and getting order you start by starting to write things down over a period of time you will find as you progress through 21 day cycles every every few days you’ll get some level of Revelation and as you get that event you’ll get two points and there’s no predictor time but around about 14 to 21 days you can start getting to the point where you can start really analyzing that stuff and getting some sense out of it you can use these categories to help you to label it as I said checking off checkmarks getting some kind of understanding and handle on that getting that situation into the windows early as possible in this process objectifying it using your multiple perspective advantage to be able to deal with that situation and then taking your time to work through it and getting loving support that’s a lot of information but it’s so doable I’ve seen the results in my own life my children’s lives the lives of thousands of people that we reach through our clinical practice and the people that I’m reaching now and I encourage you to have hope and to believe in yourself because I believe in you I believe in humanity I believe in the power of the mind I believe in love and I have seen it at work and I’ve seen it scientifically to be accurate so you can do this let’s rock the books that I do that’s why I do what I do that’s why I have this TV show to be able to help you to become a better person to be able to help you realize your dreams to be able to help you realize the purpose that you have in life and to realize that there is a better way and to realize that you have the ability to change your circumstances that you can bring order out of that chaos and you can start living into the life that you know it’s you deserve thank you for listening to me today I’m dr.

Caroline leaf you .

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